#MeToo: Behind Office Doors

Source: Sunshine Coast Daily

I had the opportunity to have my very first work experience during my third year in the university.

I was lucky to be among the few paid interns in my class; others grudgingly worked just so they could earn points for their semester GPA.

I worked at a pharmaceutical company for six months and throughout this time, I donned a lab coat from morning till evening.

What is more, all members of staff in the laboratory area were required to remove all jewelry and nail polish, wear a white hat that covered every inch of hair with white shoes and gloves.

Compliance to these rules was not negotiable.

But for my shoes and socks, I could be mistaken for a white garment church member.

My point is, this wasn’t the ideal environment to show off your fashion sense or structural assets.

But I was somehow fished out through the shapeless hat and unflattering lab coat.

One day, I was in the store (A place where samples of manufactured drugs were kept for reference purposes. I can’t remember what it was actually called) when one of my bosses (as interns, we reported to many people) came in to see what was happening.

This room doubled as an unofficial meeting point for interns.

As was characteristic of him, he barked out orders and everyone scrambled out.

As I was about leaving, he stood in front of me and looked into my eyes (everyone had gone out and we were alone).

Then he grabbed my face firmly with one hand and said with a bedroom voice, “How much are those legs?”

Which legs?

Chicken legs or turkey legs?

What is this man talking about?

In all my history of attractiveness, my legs had never played a part as far as I knew.

I was even more stunned by his pricing; he sounded like he was at a grocery store, asking for the price of an item that he was confident that he could buy.

It took minutes to come to terms with the fact that I was being harassed.

I was shocked, scared and confused.

This was a man that would raise his voice at any opportunity and was reputed as having zero tolerance for nonsense.

He repeated himself about twice in between smiles.

All the while, I had a confused smile on my face because it was all too sudden and I didn’t know what to do; the scenario was reminiscent of being greeted by a bosom friend or close family, only that this man was nothing close to one and his grip was getting painful.

The awkwardness lasted a few minutes.

Scared as I was, I knew nothing more was going to happen; considering the fairly central location of the store and the easy access everyone had to it.

Thankfully, nothing more happened indeed.

He let go of my face and left.

Even though he tried to make it happen, I avoided being alone with him until I rounded up my internship.

As it was, I wasn’t his only victim and his highhandedness was just a front.

Perhaps the bigger irony was that this married man was very vocal about his contempt for female adultery.

I sometimes wonder if he still practices his exotic brand of hypocrisy.

There’s a child in every one of us

Source: Sierraf dot org

Have you ever been stunned at the wisdom children sometimes possess?

Just as often, adults also display infantile attitudes.

The exchange of ages is a real thing.

What are some of the most common ways we express childishness?

We crave acceptance

Do you remember wanting to be friends with every cool person in school? (You may not have succeeded but you secretly craved it).

All a friend had to say was, “We’re no longer friends” or “I won’t play with you” before the pain of rejection kicked in, sometimes accompanied with tears.

It’s pretty much the same now.

If it were possible, we will do anything to be endorsed by all the people all the time.

We go as far as being untrue and even unfair to ourselves just so that we can have friends to “play with”.

We want to win too

Once a child sees his or her friend receiving a medal, they set their sights on one too.

Isn’t it the same competitive spirit that is prevalent with us?

We discountenance natural artistry and place premium on acquired talents just to prove that we can too.

We’re copycats

We start to be copycats at the age of 2 and never stop the act.

Indeed, copycatism is the fuel for trends- artful pieces literally go from the red carpet to our wardrobes.

It’s funny how we don’t mind being clones of celebrities but want our children to be ‘true to themselves’.

How ironic.

Growth Pains: Stretch Marks on the Soul

Source: CBN

I am officially an adult, a woman.

It used to be strange to describe myself with such advanced term but there’s too much evidence now to be in denial.

These evidences are not necessarily based on physical development; they’re more of intangible things.

Chief of them? Knowledge.

What I know now is different from what I knew before. For instance:

Things are rarely what they appear to be

It’s funny how you view life through a rose coloured glass when you’re a child.

You literally take things at face value.

However, things have changed.

There’s almost always a bigger story now as to why someone desires a relationship with you, gives you a gift or just offers any act of kindness.

Many times, you don’t understand that you’ve wasted your investment in a relationship- whether amorous or platonic-until you realize that, at the end of the day, every one is really concerned for their own piece of cake.

It’s not paranoia, it’s honing your intuition to make better judgment and consequently, invest in what’s real and disregard what’s not.

It’s easy to defend what you love until it hurts you

It’s natural to love your pet. But the day it sinks its fangs in your skin is the same day you learn cautiousness.

A mentor can and, often, will let you down.

A loved one may not be there when you need their shoulders.

An ideology will prove weak when you need it to be strong for you.

Right do they say that, “Idols have feet of clay.”

I have been traumatized by the things that were dearest to my heart.

I have learned the hard way that God is the only entity that has an unbroken record of dependability.

You have to underestimate life and fail before you can really win.

Just when you think you are just a stroll away from what you want, life has a way of taking you through hell and high water only to tell you that you aren’t worth it in the first place.

It gets so hard sometimes, you have to pinch yourself to make sure you haven’t lost your mind.

However, once you really understand what you’re up against, then you’re likely to come to the battle with the right weapons- tenacity, guts and innovation.

Life is not that hard; it’s just that we often don’t come ready.

Keep Your Preferences to Yourself

Source: Happy Black Woman

There’s more to our distinctiveness than finger print patterns.

Our taste, temperament and talent make up our uniqueness.

This means that another person may place premium on the things you despise.

Someone once brought up the issue of personal hygiene at work and everyone started sharing their personal routines.

The conversation seemed to be going pretty well until someone confessed to wearing underwear for 5- 10 days before washing!

😂😂😂😂

I remember when the son of a certain billionaire spelled out his standards for the dating game- no wigs and no lace fronts.

People came for him because they found his ‘standards’ condescending.

In reality, this young man, or any other human for that matter, has a right to personal preferences that are within the neighborhood of civil laws and morality.

However, it’s necessary to exercise caution and to let good sense lead in sensitive matters.

The billionaire’s son, in my opinion, should have kept to his standards without necessarily announcing it since there was no urgent reason to do so in the first place.

I have since adopted the will to not get into debates about sensitive issues.

Not because I don’t have a right to but because someone may feel attacked at the end of the day.

The bottom line is if you’re not being asked about how you like your coffee, keep your very weird preferences to yourself.

What if your idol is in awe of you?

Source: Patheos

Sally and Toni have been friends since high school.

They’ve stuck together through thick and thin.

When Sally lost her mum two years ago, Toni moved in with her for two weeks to comfort and console her.

Theirs was an admirable friendship.

Only that Toni was mentally enslaved to Sally’s success.

Sally was a successful real estate consultant; at 29, she was raking in millions in profit.

She lived in a posh part of town with her husband who was just as successful in his petroleum engineering career which came with mouth-watering perks of biannual family vacation, housing allowance, golden card membership at the boat club amongst others.

They had a beautiful daughter and a son on the way.

Toni did not believe it could get any better than that.

Watching success story after success story, she was glued to the fairy tale movie that was Sally’s life.

Her own life was nothing to get excited about- a marketing job at the bank, a financially unstable boyfriend who was still working in contract employments and a looming ordinariness in the future couldn’t quite qualify for a show.

It was no wonder Toni was often too eager to do her friend’s bidding.

The only thing Toni occasionally reveled in was her looks.

She’d been told she had the stunning beauty of a water goddess so many times, she had contemplated dumping her broke boyfriend for a more promising dude who could give her what Sally had.

The only thing that held her back was her boyfriend’s angelic nature; he was such a good man, it was unbelievable.

But time is running out and neither her or her boyfriend’s career looked any close to a breakthrough.

Maybe she should consider the venture capitalist she met the other day; he’s single, handsome as hell and has been asking to meet up for a date.

This could be the perfect opportunity to successfully climb the social ladder.

“What do you think?” Toni shared her thoughts with Sally.

“I don’t think you should end things with Fred.” Sally offered indifferently as she filed her nails.

She said it with so much apathy, Toni was sure that Sally didn’t want her to measure up to her in terms of the quality of a man.

“Easy for you to say. You have a rich husband and a successful career. Things are going well for you Sally. At least try to put yourself in my shoes.” There was hurt in Toni’s tone.

“You know nothing.”

Sally’s eyes filled with tears after a while; she seemed to have something to say.

“I … I have been sleeping with my clients for deals.”

Toni’s eyes widened.

“Fred adores you Toni. He’s a hard lover. That’s what I’ve always wanted from Ben but he doesn’t have it.”

Toni’s brows formed concern.

“It’s high time I said this. We are not as happy as you imagine; ever since he’s had the surgery, he’s been lazy in the bedroom… which is why I started having affairs.”

Sally wiped her nose.

“You’re beautiful Toni, you have a good man, you’re secure in your man’s love and you do your job honestly as he does his.”

Sally continued.

“I know you think I have more than you do but know this- you can make money but you cannot buy intimacy or a good marriage. You’re a star Toni, you’ve always been.”

Sally stood up to leave while a shocked Toni stared into space.

“We’re getting divorced.” Sally said over her shoulder as she got to the door.

As she shut the door, Toni thought about her idolatry for her friend.

Has she exchanged positions with her idol?

Has she longed so much for what was another’s that she looked down on her blessings?

Is she really a star?